20-year-old girlfriend insists on going trick-or-treating with 25-year-old boyfriend on Halloween, he thinks it's weird: 'I don't want to be a buzzkill'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 28, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

There's an episode of That 70s Show entitled "Too Old To Trick or Treat Too Young To Díe" and I think about that all the time. It's such a poignant phrase. At a certain point in one's life, you lose the ability to trick or treat. You probably didn't notice it when it was happening, but it did. You went trick-or-treating for the last time, and that was that. It was probably when you were a tween or a teenager, when Halloween stopped being about candy and started being about acting sloppily at parties. It's a tradition that happens all too quickly, and I mourn that. If I had my druthers, we would all have the option to trick or treat at any time. If you're not giving out candy, you should be able to trick or treat. Why is it just for kids?

But alas, the world is not set up that way. If you trick or treat as an adult, not in the presence of children, you're probably going to get some side eye, whether you deserve it or not. 

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  • A couple wearing skeleton face paint look at each other lovingly.
    via Irina Krutova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's the conundrum this couple found themselves in when one of them wanted to continue the Halloween tradition into adulthood. She wanted to hold on to the fun of being a kid for just a little bit longer, but her boyfriend had second thoughts about it. Scroll on to read the full story and see what commenters had to say. 

  • AITA for not wanting to take my 20 yr old GF trick or treating as a 25 yr old man?

    Title pretty much says it all. It's last second and neither of us really have any elaborate costumes or anything, probably just going to do some makeup and decorate cardboard props. Personally not super comfortable with the idea because while she's pretty small and is cute enough to get a pass, I'm a big dude and the idea of someone opening their door to me and no children just sounds humiliating.
    via u/mmflow
  • I don't want to be a buzzkill and I suggested us going to another very popular event where we can still do costumes and be out for the night, but she is adamant on trick-or-treating specifically. She's not forcing me or anything but whats the AITA opinion here on me not wanting to do that at 25. Should I loosen up or is it
    via u/mmflow
  • ridiculous for her to even ask me? I don't know. I've still got time to go back on my decision but I can't make heads or tails of it. I certainly feel guilty for saying no but I don't think I'd enjoy going along with it either.
    via u/mmflow
  • In summary: turned down the only thing my girlfriend wanted to do for Halloween because I thought it would be humiliating for me. might make me an asshole because many people share the opinion that age is irrelevant on these sorts of things, and that I should be more open-minded. I think the night belongs to the children, and that adults/older teenagers are better off going to parties or parades or handing out candy to make it more enjoyable (and less intimidating) for the young ones.
    via u/mmflow
  • I am in NYC and there is a fair amount of halloween crime that goes on here so I take no personal offense to people being concerned about me at first glance.
    via u/mmflow

  • Commenters gave their thought on this issue.

    catskilkid 2h ago Trick or treating at houses is for children. Obviously its fun to dress up and take your kids (or family or close friends) BUT having a 20yo be the REASON you are going house to house for free candy is immature and it cheapens the event for the kids. Want to go
    via u/catskilkid
  • to a fun Halloween Party for adults and there will be candy.... GREAT. But leave the kids to be kids. Your GF sounds VERY immature to be pushing this WITHOUT a child of significance in tow. NTA
    via u/catskilkid
  • Few_Acadia7686 · 2h ago • Let her go trick or treating while you stand back on the sidewalk and pretend to be her parent. Make it weird all around!
    via u/Few_Acadia7686
  • obtusewisdom • 2h ago . Trick or treating is for kids. If you're out of high school, time to do other things that don't involve scamming candy you can afford to get yourself. I would be super pissed if I ran out of candy for kids because a bunch of adults were trick or treating.
    via u/obtusewisdom
  • hollowl0g1c · 2h ago NTA. This is weird. She's 20, she should not be trick or treating. And neither should you. Go to a party like normal 20-somethings
    via u/hollowl0g1c
  • readergirl35 • 2h ago Thank you for thinking about the people on the other side of the door. As a lone mom with sleeping kids upstairs I once opened the door to 3 six foot and over dudes in trench coats and latex fright masks. It was very unnerving. I think
    via u/readergirl35
  • at a certain age it's time to leave off trick or treating for more age appropriate Halloween fun. Have a party, have a bonfire, have a scary movie marathon, decorate the yard and house and dress up to hand out candy. At 20 (and definitely at 25) going out trick or treating is not necessary.
    via u/readergirl35
  • A couple dressed up for Halloween sits on a porch together.
    via Unsplash+ (Ivana Cajina)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • grammarlysucksass · 2h ago NTA. This might be the European in me and maybe I'm hating outside the club but I think trick or treating for adults is bizarre. Halloween should be fun for both of you and I feel like there are plenty of fun activities you can compromise with that don't involve grown adults begging for candy.
    via u/grammarlysucksass
  • If she's seriously that desperate surely she has a friend she can go with rather than forcing you into it.
    via u/grammarlysucksass
  • United-Signature-414 2h ago • NTA Judging from the other comments this is pretty dependent on what the norm is where you live, but where I am it would be incredibly unusual for grown ass adults to go trick or treating. At 25 it would have killed me. Plus those Halloween parties that happen in your 20s are the apex of all parties so get them while you can.
    via u/United-Signature-414
  • BlondDee1970 • 2h ago NTA. At 20 she's too old to be looking for free candy trick or treating. Find a Halloween party or event meant for young adults.
    via u/BlondDee1970
  • MoxieOHara • 2h ago NTA - Where I live, a grown adult trick or treating without kids in tow would be met with puzzled faces. I'm not sure anyone would give them anything tbh. This seems weird to me - is there an element of "getting away with it" for her, or something? I wouldn't want to go with her either, it sounds ridiculous. ETA NTA
    via u/MoxieOHara
  • Bluevanonthestreet 2h ago I'm all for teens going but y'all are full blown adults. She can buy her own candy whenever she wants. Go to a party or throw a party. It's a lot of fun to just hand out candy. Is she childish in other areas? Are you really into a relationship where your partner is this immature?
    via u/Bluevanonthestreet
  • Human-Obligation3... 2h ago NAH. It would be super weird in my area to open the door to adults who are trick or treating without kids. Honestly, I'd feel uncomfortable and worry they were casing the neighborhood for future robbery or something. It's really strange she wants to do
    via u/Human-Obligation3621
  • it. Can she find a child of a friend or relative who she can offer to take trick or treating if she really wants the vibe? Or dress up and hand out candy at home or at a local trunk or treat? Adults can definitely get dressed up and have a fun Halloween experience but should definitely be buying their own candy rather than begging neighbors for it.
    via u/Human-Obligation3621
  • notrainsaround here 2h ago . You are 25 so you should not be trick or treating unless you are accompanying children. Your GF is 20 and so she should not be trick or treating unless she is accompanying children. IMO like age 13 is the cut-off for trick or treating surely?
    via u/notrainsaround
  • onitshaanambra 2h ago . NTA. But if you go with her, hang back as she goes to the door so it looks like you're a father taking his kid out trick- or-treating. Just don't ask for candy for yourself. Or this might be a sign she's too immature for you.
    via u/onitshaanambra
  • archiangel ⚫ 2h ago • INFO - does she want to just walk around and enjoy the ambiance of Halloween and watching cute trick-or- treaters in their costumes and checking out house decor? That seems fairly mild and not that big of a deal. Or does she actually want to get candy? She may mean the former and you are assuming the latter.
    via u/archiangel
  • If it is the latter though, it is a bit odd. If you want to keep the peace say you are only going for the walk and she can go to the doors herself. Or else see if either of your have a friend that's planning on hanging out candy and you can go help them.
    via u/archiangel
  • If they have kids they might even appreciate you doing so on their behalf so they can take their own kids out trick- or-treating. Or just tag along with them, so you can hang out with the adults.
    via u/archiangel
  • TigerGuitarist • 2h ago NAH. Not really an a-hole situation. That said, trick or treating is for kids. You two are not kids. Go find a Halloween party or something.
    via u/TigerGuitarist
  • goodtimes-1981 - 2h ago Nta. But it seems like she is not realizing she is becoming an adult.
    via u/goodtimes-1981
  • wes... • 1h ago Edited 1h ago The typical 20-year-old has NO business trick-or-treating. Where you're concerned...well, as Monty Python might say, "25 is right out."
    via u/wesmorgan1
  • I would find it extremely weird to open my door and find people in their 20s asking for candy. That's all there is to it. NTA.
    via u/wesmorgan1

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trick or treating long term relationship age relationship advice aita relationship relationship status halloween adulting relationship-drama reddit story relationships story reddit thread Reddit healthy relationship
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